Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Keeping it all together, or not...

It's been such a busy week so far. Appointments to keep, friends to keep up with, bills to pay, shopping to buy, cooking and housework to do, Facebook, Twitter and Blog to keep up with. Might not seem too much for those of you with a job, but this week, so far, has been a toughie. But so far so good,  I'm keeping it all together, I thought. Went to kitchen to make pot of coffee. Had run out of filter coffee in the storage jar, so opened a new packet to pour into the jar to use. The coffee spilled out of the packet and went all over the work surfaces and floor of kitchen. Now this isn't really such a big deal, at least I think it shouldn't be, but for me this morning it was the end of the world. The total proof that I couldn't keep anything together at all. So I sat on the kitchen floor and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, surrounded by coffee grounds, and one impatient house rabbit who really wanted me to pack it in, open the fridge and get his carrots out. But why such an over reaction? Problem with me is that I cannot regulate negative emotions. I am either ok, or in A&E being bandaged up and sedated.
Therapy is good, it helps me to learn skills to stay on the ok side of nutterdom, but at the moment the skills are not powerful enough to defeat the dark side.

Good news though, plan to change the world is going well, lots of great feedback for blog, and other stuff I have written. Hoping that small steps will conquer some of the negativity which seems endemic throughout much of our society.

On a lighter note, my lovely daughter will be here tomorrow, so loads to look forward to.

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