Turned up at the Psychiatrists office with a bundle of symptoms, a whole load of confusion, damp tissues, overwhelming sadness and an inability to do anything about it. I am never going to talk about why, though the cartoon below explains why some of you might have an inkling as to what happened! Oh alcohol.. how I love its anaesthetic effects, sadly though it also gives me verbal diarrhoea!
After an hour, I had two more of the lovely labels but this time it was a lot more serious.
Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.
Hmmm...serious stuff. These two disorders now have me permanently retired from the job I love, and unless I find a way of dealing with it, will leave me out of 'gainful employment' for good. But let's deal with the disorders first.
Chronic post traumatic stress disorder, many webistes out there which explain it well:
I think one of the best, which I feel best explains how and what is Wikipedia; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder
As for the emotionally unstable personality disorder, it kind of explains itself. I can't control my emotions, therefore when I am sad, I am very very sad. Most of the time, I am ok, but at times I need hospital treatment.
Web link, which kind of explains it best for me;
Writing this today, is pretty scary. Telling you what is wrong with me is massive. The external symptoms that you see, the drinking, the scars from cutting are my way of coping with these disorders. The drinking aneathetises me, the physical pain of cutting makes the uncontrollable pain of grief and sadness leave me. There is no attetion seeking in what I do, I do not cut in public, this is a very private way of dealing with myself. If you see the scars and you want to know, please ask. Please dont just fill in the gaps yourself. In the words of Oscar Wilde, 'You can never be overdressed or over educated'.
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