Monday, 6 August 2012

What to do....?

I have spent much of the past three days wondering how to put my case to my MP? Infact, I have spent much of the past three days in tears wondering how on earth I can explain anything, when I have battered myself so badly with a razor, that the only thing I can do at the moment is to hide inside (thanks to Bev, who came to see me and was so non-judgemental and kind). Linda was right in her comment, I am here to put to rights the things, which other people with mental health problems cannot articulate as well. But, how can I explain to an MP, and this makes me cry now, why it is so important, and just how unjust so much is for people with mental health illness, when I have mashed myself up so much? I don't think I can make a valid point when look like I have been pushed through a food blender, to someone who will presumably not have much experience of total nutters (I have read everything there is to read about him on Internet, and he doesn't seem to have any published experience of us fruit cakes), and anyway, I will probably just sit in his office, cry for half and hour then get detained by the Police on their damned section 136 on my walk home. It does all seem so hopelessly pointless. Who am I, got retired out of a job I was damned good at because I am a nutter,to think I can change the world?
Think I will go for a fag and coffee and see if I can get some inspiration for a second.
Well, there you go, a quick espresso, and a rollie, and I think I have it. If I don't do it, no bugger else will, so I shall, even though I am a mess.....
Here's to espresso's, rollies, and loads of vodka, I SHALL CHANGE THE WORLD!

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