it's Thursday, nothing has changed, except that without warning, I have landed back at the bottom of the pit. It doesn't help that I feel physically ill again, but no, back at the bottom. Perhaps that's not fair, after all, I have not chopped myself up, overdosed, planned to die, and I am not sat in a cell in a Police Station, I have not been detained, so perhaps I am only half way down, oh joy, that means it could be worse. Or perhaps not, maybe I could get some climbing gear on, and climb back up, but I can't today. It isn't a raw feeling, just an over all sad and incapable one. One of those times where sitting staring into nothing at nothing seems like the best, if not only option. My CPN will be here in about an hour, he is great, but there isn't an answer to this, no magic fairy dust, no elephant pill, no cure for this, it just is what it is.