Thursday, 9 August 2012

Last night.....

Usually getting to sleep involves a great concoction of vodka, sleeping tablets and meditation (then giving up and watching endless CSI, NCIS etc, whatever 5USA has to offer) But last night, after having over 1750 hits on my blog, and the amazing supportive comments, I was asleep by eleven, vodka untouched, meditations not needed, slept like a baby, with a feeling I haven't had for years.... peace of mind.
I feel as if I am doing and have done, something that really matters, and something I feel I have your support with. I no longer feel alone, yes I might feel lonely, but that is different.
I approach today with a new vigour, perhaps wrong word, resolution, that it really will be ok (soon), and ....... my lovely mate Nikki is bringing her epilator round at 2pm so I can wear my skirt without having spider legs growing from them!
Without sounding melodramatic guys and girls, thank you, your support has and is making such a difference to the way I am feeling about myself..... can't say more than that.
BUT will later when I have met the MP chap


June said...

So pleased you had a good sleep. Your blogg is heart rendering. Make today your first day into recovery.
Good Luck. :) X June

Isabelle Nuts said...

Many thanks June. I make every effort I can to get better, hence, the name of the blog, manic defense against chronic dysphoria, but I think with this much support, I should be better by lunchtime! :o)

Rachelradiostar said...

Hi, Here from Frugal Queen - will pop back when I have more time
I love finding new blogs to follow. I think I've followed but have no idea where my pic is!
Rachel at eternally 28

JOC said...

I'm also a new reader - from Australia, thanks to Frugal Queen. Keep up the fight and good luck with it. I love your writing, its honesty and occasional humour.
I too, have suffered with the dreaded hairy legs all my life and rarely wear skirts. But if I do it's the thick pair of tights. Okay in winter but I suppose not in summer. I forgot our seasons are back to front!
Thinking of you today.


astitch said...

I have just come over from Frugal Queen. I would like to be able to follow and offer support but at present I am not good enough in myself to do so. However, do try to keep your chin up. I am glad you managed to sleep last night. It is awful not being able to, I know, but it does help you to get through the next day better. My best and heartfelt wishes. Audrey xx

Isabelle Nuts said...

Audrey, by commenting and reading the blog, you have given me huge support. I know you say that you are 'not good enough...' to offer support, it is not 'good enough' it is NOT WELL ENOUGH! You are absolutely good enough. You take care, much love, peace and safety to you x

Linda said...

Isabelle -

I am here after reading Frugal Queen also. I really don't have many words of support to offer, but know that your strength truly amazes me. I have suffered with depression only once in my life, and it is an experience I would not wish to repeat. Your ability to maintain your humor, empathy and humanity in the face of your experiences is truly inspiring. You are not battle an illness no different than the diabetes I battle on a daily basis. The only difference is that my illness and the fight for its cure is more publicized. Your letter for the rights and benefits of those who must use the system along with you is heartfelt, well written and should be studied by each and every individual whose job it is to treat your illness. Too often the healthcare professionals forget that those with a mental health illness ARE NOT THEIR DISEASE...they are caring, loving, empathic individuals who are battling a disease which has not yet received the recognition, acceptance, research and dedication to a cure that so many less life altering illnesses have. Hold strong.

Please know that I will keep you in my thoughts. I wish you peace and health always.


Isabelle Nuts said...

Linda, I cannot say more than thank you for your compassion and understanding, it's been a long day, and your words made it worthwhile, thank you x

Sue xx said...

I think you are amazing and I love the fact that all the on-line support has lifted you in this way. Hang in there, Dear Lady