it's Thursday, nothing has changed, except that without warning, I have landed back at the bottom of the pit. It doesn't help that I feel physically ill again, but no, back at the bottom. Perhaps that's not fair, after all, I have not chopped myself up, overdosed, planned to die, and I am not sat in a cell in a Police Station, I have not been detained, so perhaps I am only half way down, oh joy, that means it could be worse. Or perhaps not, maybe I could get some climbing gear on, and climb back up, but I can't today. It isn't a raw feeling, just an over all sad and incapable one. One of those times where sitting staring into nothing at nothing seems like the best, if not only option. My CPN will be here in about an hour, he is great, but there isn't an answer to this, no magic fairy dust, no elephant pill, no cure for this, it just is what it is.Thursday, 16 August 2012
kerplunk........
it's Thursday, nothing has changed, except that without warning, I have landed back at the bottom of the pit. It doesn't help that I feel physically ill again, but no, back at the bottom. Perhaps that's not fair, after all, I have not chopped myself up, overdosed, planned to die, and I am not sat in a cell in a Police Station, I have not been detained, so perhaps I am only half way down, oh joy, that means it could be worse. Or perhaps not, maybe I could get some climbing gear on, and climb back up, but I can't today. It isn't a raw feeling, just an over all sad and incapable one. One of those times where sitting staring into nothing at nothing seems like the best, if not only option. My CPN will be here in about an hour, he is great, but there isn't an answer to this, no magic fairy dust, no elephant pill, no cure for this, it just is what it is.
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9 comments:
Honey you know its not going to be roses everyday and coming after you did such a good job yesterday it is crap. But look at those comments on yesterday! You ARE having good days! Yay. Maybe not right now but maybe later in the day the gloom will lift. And if not today then maybe tomorrow. The thing is you are not letting it beat you every day. IR
You're absolutely right. At the moment I can't fight dragons... but maybe later!
Hey you, yesterday you won a battle with the driving demon. Its bound to take the puff out of you. I don't know why winning battles is sometimes more scary than facing them but it is and there you go. You are amazing and you're going to get there. Draw on all the support out here for you. L xx
That picture says it all..... 'see that, that's me, that is' (sorry, an injoke that I have with a friend).
Pretty tough day for quite a few bloggy people today, including me. yah boo sucks to it all.
Better day tomorrow? Yeah go one then, I'll join you!
Susan x
PS still only commenting rather than writing properly, I will, soon, I promise.
I try to just take "Baby Steps" like Bob. Not sure if you have seen this film?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3JPa2mvSQ4&feature=autoplay&list=PL748EC26A2026FA8D
Sometimes any step is hard, but just hold tight!
with love Arwedd xx
Thank you lovelies for your comments x x keeping on keeping on is the main thing, and slaying dragons can wait for another day x
You put how I feel some days, just perfectly. You are brave for this because I am too cowardly to admit it. I keep it all tightly locked away. I am not ready.
I send you bloggy love n light x hope all seems better soon
Ps can I also adopt your dragons?
Rachel, thank you for your kind comments x You don't want my dragons love, we all have our own... but remember, one dragon at a time, not all in one day, and give yourself time off dragon slaying, it is hard work x
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