Monday.....

Booo, the sunshine has gone again. Had lovely walk yesterday, through the woods, past the lake and then to the sea. Didn't realise just how warm the sun was, at least maybe I had forgotten how warm the sun is! So pleased that Spain and France are having a super hot summer (not!) while we are sat in this muggy, sweaty heat, under cloud and frequent rain..... humph... wish for some money so that I can go to sunny place and decide to buy lottery ticket.
Monday is a funny day, a bit of an anti-climax after the weekend, I look around for a useful job to do, but I did them all yesterday. Flat is spotless, Dave the Rabbit is cleaned out, fed and watered, so I think today I will draw.
I am very lucky, I have a lovely little flat, a gorgeous Dave Rabbit, everything that I need, and most of all, some amazing friends. I shan't name them, they know who they are, but sometimes I feel very aware of how lucky I am to have them.

I guess I am a hard work friend to have. First of all I need constant reminders that they love me, and they haven't forgotten about me, and that I am good enough.... then they are there when I am in crisis, to double those reminders and also to tell me that everything is ok and that I am safe. Then they have to cope with me chopping myself up, overdosing etc etc..... that has got to be hard, they put in all the time, effort and love for me, and then I sabotage it all. So I don't just have friends, I have AMAZING FRIENDS.

Froogs once told me of a quote from Marilyn Monroe, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best". I like that, but it is a little arrogant for me to say the same. However, I have not self harmed for eighteen days, I am on day three of detox and everything is good. Finish this off with another quote from Marilyn.... "Sometimes things have to fall apart, so that better things can fall together".
Much love x